Author Topic: WA Retreat Weekend  (Read 263911 times)

Offline CreamPuff63

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #900 on: July 04, 2012, 06:50:25 am »
Amy when I left school I was bullied horrendously at my first job in the bank, and also in my 3rd job. I was brought up to respect my elders (even if it was 1 or 2 years) and so I never answered them back or stood up for myself just to keep the peace in the office. I absolutely hated working for those places and my job performance showed because I could learn absolutely nothing because I was so overwrought with unhappiness that these bullies kept handing out to me. They were both well aware of what they were doing, but it gave them a sense of power and I continued to feed their power by making it so easy for them to crunch me. Given the opportunity, I would love to come face to face with those people now and let them know exactly how they made me feel. Time and life experience has given me more confidence (although I have never really lacked confidence, only when speaking to someone of more seniority). Although age is no barrier to being the victim of bullying. You probably need to be a little more assertive when dealing with this nasty person, and I would go over and above and speak to the person who they have to answer to. If you can have dates written down of certain occasions when they have bullied you, or write down things they have said, it will back up more of what you tell them. Of course, if there are any other workmates or witnesses to the bullying all the better. Let your revenge be the fact that they thought they could go under the radar, and if nothing else you will at least bring the managers superiors attention to the fact that it has happened, so should it ever happen again that this person has a case history. Bullies are very insecure people, and this person obviously feel greatly threatened by you in some way. Perhaps they feel you have a big chance of taking over their job or becoming their boss, and have the need to put you down so you feel you could never do it. Do you really want to quit your job because the job is not suitable, or is it to get this person out of your hair?
Non Consultant from Perth, Western Australia

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #901 on: July 04, 2012, 06:56:21 am »
Some very good advice in the above posts Amy.
If they have bullied you, they have probably bullied in the past and will continue to do so, possibly with whomever takes your place.
Even if you still decide to resign from your position, state the reason in your resignation and let this person be accountable for their actions.

Offline Amy :-)

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #902 on: July 04, 2012, 07:07:10 am »
I loath bullys.I loath them with a passion. Bring 'em on.

Gert

Hi Gert :D
I don't like bullies either :(

CP, it sounds like I'm going through the same sort of thing you went through. I am too scared to confront this woman, and I think she knows it. On one occasion I was nearly in tears in front of her. I am just not a confident person, and I really don't like conflict.
I don't know why she would feel threatened by me because she has worked there a long time and as far as I can tell she is very secure in her position. If I said anything to the boss, I think it would make it very awkward for me in my job. No matter what happens I think I'm going to end up quitting. But I'm sure I will find another job.

Michele, I almost feel bad knowing that the next person is probably going to be treated the same way. It almost makes me want to stay in the job so that nobody else will have to put up with it :-\

Offline cookie1

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #903 on: July 04, 2012, 07:09:12 am »
Amy that is really horrid. I know exactly how you are feeling as I have seen it happen to family members. This person is insecure. Not that that makes you feel better. Write down the time, date and what they say of every offence. If you have a witness as well. Perhaps you could try saying, 'don't speak to me like that' rather loudly so others hear.
If you do leave, do as Michele suggested and state the reason (and even times etc of the offences) in your letter of resignation.

Or send them to the retreat on some pretext and we'll sort them out for you. :D :D :D :D
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Offline Gertbysea

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #904 on: July 04, 2012, 07:09:28 am »
Well said  CP. Good advice. Document everything as soon as you can. Take notes. Take a witness.

DO NOT  PUT ANYTHING  ON THE  WEB  such as FB or Twitter. If will follow you all your days. Once out there it can never be deleted. Just like on this forum.

You are so worth the effort Amy trust us.

POke that manager in the eye with a big stick. Oops that may be bullying. No that is just assault.  Probably get let off with a caution at your age.

Gert
Gretchen in Cairns, Australia

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Offline obbie

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #905 on: July 04, 2012, 07:22:13 am »
Amy Darling, go over her head, and talk to the big boss.
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Offline Amy :-)

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #906 on: July 04, 2012, 07:23:49 am »
Thanks for all your advice ladies :)
I will write down the specific incidents and include them in my resignation. Unfortunately there haven't been witnesses, but hopefully the boss will take it seriously and do something about it when she realises that I'm resigning because of it. With any luck the next person won't experience the same thing I have.

Or send them to the retreat on some pretext and we'll sort them out for you. :D :D :D :D

 ;D ;D ;D

DO NOT  PUT ANYTHING  ON THE  WEB  such as FB or Twitter. If will follow you all your days. Once out there it can never be deleted. Just like on this forum.

You are so worth the effort Amy trust us.

POke that manager in the eye with a big stick. Oops that may be bullying. No that is just assault.  Probably get let off with a caution at your age.

Gert

Don't worry Gert, I don't have FB or twitter anyway. And I'm trying to be carfeul what I say here as well.
Lol it would be very satisfying to poke her in the eye with a big stick :-))

Amy Darling, go over her head, and talk to the big boss.

I'm scared because she told me not to. I don't know why she would say that ???

Thank you all so much, you're all so supportive and funny and I feel a lot better even though I haven't done anything :D

Offline Frozzie

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #907 on: July 04, 2012, 07:31:20 am »
Amy i had a boss who bullied me and a directer who backed up her actions.. Well after near having a melt down i got my grandfather help me to write a letter (he was a mediator for the courts during his retirement) and went to the union rep stating i could no longer work under this person... In the end they both got fired and had been doing it for years.. I was the only one who stood up to them... No matter what you shoukdnt let people push you into a position of being bullied and making you think its you because it generally isnt..i cant stand people like that which is why i did something about it..i would definately be reporting it and like everyone has said write everything down and put it in a letter...you will be amazed how people change their tune after their boss gives them a talking too.  I do agree however you couldnt continue working under that person and i would state that too.. If your planning on quitting anyway it cant hurt and at worst your boss will have the complaint on her record so if it ever happens again their is a recorded history there..
Kim :) ... Back in the land of Oz

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Offline CreamPuff63

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #908 on: July 04, 2012, 07:31:28 am »
Paedophiles usually hold it over their victims as well by saying something like "don't tell anyone, this is our little secret".
Non Consultant from Perth, Western Australia

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Offline Gertbysea

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #909 on: July 04, 2012, 07:35:09 am »
Paedophiles usually hold it over their victims as well by saying something like "don't tell anyone, this is our little secret".


Oh o soap box moment. Don't get me started.

Gert
Gretchen in Cairns, Australia

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. Carl Sandburg.

Offline obbie

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #910 on: July 04, 2012, 07:41:51 am »
Amy, I would tell. Stand up to bullies.

Just as I told my Daughter who is 7... we stood up to a girl at school and reported it to the principal. That child had bullied others as well from Prep, grade1 and 2.
Short story, her mother assaulted me on school grounds, and that child is now in another school.
She learnt from her mother to bully.
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Offline Gertbysea

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #911 on: July 04, 2012, 07:48:54 am »
Amy, I would tell. Stand up to bullies.

Just as I told my Daughter who is 7... we stood up to a girl at school and reported it to the principal. That child had bullied others as well from Prep, grade1 and 2.
Short story, her mother assaulted me on school grounds, and that child is now in another school.
She learnt from her mother to bully.

That is horrendous. A seven year old bully. E gods. What next? Mothers going all nuts over kids  stuff.  Yup that is where it must start.

It is the sneaky silent butter wouldn't melt  in their mouth holier than thou bullys that  hold a very special place in my mean heart.

Gert

Gretchen in Cairns, Australia

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. Carl Sandburg.

Offline obbie

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #912 on: July 04, 2012, 07:54:31 am »
I had to stand up for my DD. teachers swept under the carpet, my DD was suffering.
 :)

She is happy since that kid is no longer at school.
My Thermomix,  Kitchen Aid, Pizza oven, Nu Wave 5 in 1, Spatulas, all brings love, laughter, happiness, and great food  to my kitchen.

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mcmich

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #913 on: July 04, 2012, 08:04:03 am »
It's sad to hear that there is bullying in 7yr old children.

The worst we had to put up with was - freckle face, thunder thighs, four eyes.
I'm sure comments like those chipped away at the receivers confidence.

Fat comments led me into a very unhealthy relationship with food.

Offline faffa_70

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Re: WA Retreat Weekend
« Reply #914 on: July 04, 2012, 09:00:37 am »

I'm scared because she told me not to. I don't know why she would say that ???

Thank you all so much, you're all so supportive and funny and I feel a lot better even though I haven't done anything :D

She has told you not to go over her head Amy so she doesn't get in trouble. She is probably also very comfortable in the knowledge that you won't because you are scared of her and she has directed you not to!! Please stand up for yourself and also perhaps the next person that takes your job when you leave

Hopefully you can find something pretty soon and much nicer to work at  :-* :-*
Kathryn - Perth WA :)
Mum of 5 hungry mouths :D