Forum Thermomix
Welcoming Center, Management and General Chat => Chit Chat => Topic started by: Ceejay on February 26, 2012, 01:09:09 pm
-
My eldest left home last Tuesday...
He's moved around 800km away so it's not like we'll see him much either. :-\
Now I feel really lost. It's like he leaves and I have no idea what to cook... or make... it was his massive list of intolerances and food issues that kind of dictated our day to day meals. :-))
Which is awkward when there's always around 5 others to feed... and regularly 8 or 9!
How have others filled that void?
His younger siblings are missing him heaps too! :(
-
Don't worry Ceejay -- Mission Accomplished. If your children never leave home you have a problem. As long as you know they are in a safe place and have friends, food and rent money, you have done your job. I think you have a few more kidlets around don't you? I don't think we ever stop worrying about our kids, and then they have kids and we can relax a bit but probably still worry also about the grandkids as well.
-
CJ it is always hard when the first one leaves home. I can imagine with all of your eldest DS's dietary requirements you are feeling it quite a lot.
As CP said you have as parents we have been successful out job when our children become independent taxpayers.
-
Thinking of you cj
Cant be easy but im sure all will be fine ... A new chapter in life and all that!! Hang in there 😊
-
It's a really hard time when your children leave home. I'm lucky that mine aren't so far away and return frequently.
Get Skype if you haven't already, and start cooking things you've never cooked before due to those intolerances.
😘
-
You never stop worrying about your kids whatever age they are Ceejay but you let them go so they can make a independent life for themselves.Hang in there and enjoy the time with your other lovely children :)
-
You could always ask for input from the folks for whom you will be cooking.
Post a list of dishes or even entire menus of things that you know you would like to prepare and tell them to check off things they would like to see on the table.
You can even invite participation...
This was my solution when I had a family of five to cook for - back in the dark ages!
-
My first thought when I read your post was congratulations, but then again none of my children have left home yet so I really don't know how I will react to the situation.
My eldest had been talking about it and I'm thinking he's to young yet, but as he works in the same town we live I don't think he would be moving any time soon.
Will be many years to come before I'm child free.
I guess it's a big adjustment when a child leaves home.
-
Ceejay, I feel for you. It's hard when the first one leaves home and harder when the last one leaves.
He's a long way away but you can plan weekend trips to see him and he will be back for weekend and holiday visits.
Cook his favourite meals and snacks that freeze well so he has some of mums cooking to take back with him.
I found my evenings a bit lonely and did some evening classes put on by Taffe - there's everything from
photography to belly dancing. Hope he's home for a visit soon.
-
Ceejay - I also feel so much for you! I'm spoilt though because my two are back quite often . . . but you really do feel as though you've lost part of you when they go on their way. Part of you remembers that feeling when you spread your own wings . . and you do understand and want that for them - you just wish they didn't have to leave home to do it!! :-))
mcmich's advice is tried and true! especially . . .
Cook his favourite meals and snacks that freeze well so he has some of mums cooking to take back with him.
Hang in there! It will get easier with time . . :) :)
-
Hi Ceejay, I think I do understand how you feel. My eldest moved out at 18 and moved about 700ks away and my youngest (17) at the same time moved overseas to do year 13. We went from chaos with kids and their friends coming and going, phone calls, extra meals etc to just the two of us looking at each other.
We also had special dietary needs because of the children and they both have chronic health problems. I strongly felt that being a hands on mother had just gone too quick! 18 years and they were both gone!
Sorry, no new advice - skype is great, being able to cook special meals when they come home is always appreciated, and just know you have done a great job that your son if your son feels confident to move away and 'spread his wings'. I think we all work so hard to teach our children to be independant, then are sad when they leave. Just remember to congratulate yourself on a job well done.
-
Ceejay, I know you love having all your kids under your roof but this day was bound to come sooner or later. The fact that eldest DS has been able to move away from the security of his home means he is a very confident young man and obviously has a job to go to. Hopefully his food intolerances will be able to be met, notwithstanding you will miss him terribly, is that one of the worrying aspects for you?
Go mad in the kitchen and cook up anything and everything you have always wanted to make, I'm sure the other children will appreciate some changes to their menu. I can understand how strange it must be to not have to consider intolerances any longer and I do hope you both will find a way to meet up occasionally and keep the mother/son bond you have. Maybe meet halfway or as the others have said, skype, text, email - anything to keep the lines of communication open. I wish you the very best of luck coping with your loss - I know what a mother hen you are and it is a credit to you. :-* :-*
-
Make sure he knows that you are watching, and that he can come home for a good meal when he can.
Enjoy trying new recipes to share with the kidlings still at home.
My eldest moved away about 18 years ago and has 4 kidlings of her own, but I still miss her and wish she was closer to us.
We keep in touch via Face Book. One of the few reasons I have FB is to keep in touch with her and the Grandkids.
-
Hi CeeJay
I felt sad when I read your post, as I know exactly how it feels when our young people leave home. Ours have moved to two different states, our second left a year ago. We try to meet up somewhere halfway and when we do we have a great time together. It will get better, but the feeling of loss is always there. At least communication is alot better than in the past. Apart of encouraging them to visit us I like to send special treats to them, the type I made when they were at home. Something from home is always a big hit.
Best wishes :)
-
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
-
Thanks everyone. :-* :-*
I guess you just can't be prepared for the emptiness that descends. :-\
I also think that the fact that my "baby" just started school has also added to that quiet house during the day.
I still have to get around to cleaning out the eldest's room... it's not messy or such... just the whole concept. *sigh*
The younger children have intolerances (and the baby with his egg and strawberry allergy) but it just all seems so much simpler without the eldest's.
He's not in a communicating frame of mind yet. We've rung twice to chat to him and he's okay to answer questions about stuff back here... but not fill in too much about his new home as such. Hoping that giving him some space will help.
He asked me for a supply of Byron Bay gluten free curried lentil pies before he left... apparently I can't make those as well. :P Doubt he'll be able to source them in a mining town. :-))
-
Ceejay, your son is feeling the separation as well as you. Boys aren't communicators.
You have younger children to direct your energy towards. Clean up his room and turn
it into something positive for the great kids you have at home.
He will be home for holidays and you will be able to indulge him then.
-
Thinking of u Carmen. Know how u feel (in a whole different way lol) but just be grateful that he got the chance to leave home. Think of all the new recipes you'll be able to try now
Believe me the other children will get used to it ( they adapt easier to change than we do)
Cook up a storm. Give me a call anytime If u need a chat
-
Hugs Carmen :-*
-
He may appreciate some food parcels. Although he won't say so. You have done a great job getting himTo this point.
-
Here here!! What a journey it has been so far for you both...😃
-
Ceejay many on here are able to relate to where you are at presently. It amazes me that 1 child can take up 100% of our time therefore more kids can't take up anymore than 100%, however when one leaves home there seems to be a huge chunk taken from the whole and for a time we seem to operate in a world that can only be understood by a parent. The experience of dealing with a child leaving home is similar to watching that child learning to ride a bike for the first time - they need both support and freedom. (http://www.messengerfreak.com/emoticons/girls/flower54356hb.gif)
-
So glad that this moment is a long way off yet... I know i will be hopeless like alot of mums when the time arrives...😔
-
I'm definitely working on it. ;)
I'll give him some space for a while though. I guess it will take longer than a week too. :-\
It won't stop the worry but I'm glad I have you all to bounce off. Thank you. :-* :-* :-*
Trudy, Just love to you in droves. I'll call when I can. :-* :-*
-
CJ I have one DD 200 kms away and one 1300kms away. I don't know which is worse we have to check Facebook to know if the one who lives closest is still alive and the one that is furthest away calls and emails everyday with some little problem or "pickle" as she calls them.
Eventually it just seems normal and so far they have both survived and do quite well for themselves.
-
Thanks Dashingden... I live in hope that he'll be just fine as well... I just worry out of habit I guess. ;D
He finally called me today!! Was good to hear from him off his own bat, even if it was just to ask how much he owed on his phone bill (It's a "big" one) and to tell me how he plans to pay for it. I guess that's a step forward. ;D
He knows he's welcome home whenever... he will just have to share with his baby brother who is four... ;)
-
Thanks Dashingden... I live in hope that he'll be just fine as well... I just worry out of habit I guess. ;D
He finally called me today!! Was good to hear from him off his own bat, even if it was just to ask how much he owed on his phone bill (It's a "big" one) and to tell me how he plans to pay for it. I guess that's a step forward. ;D
He knows he's welcome home whenever... he will just have to share with his baby brother who is four... ;)
Good to hear that your DS has made contact Ceejay :)