Forum Thermomix
Welcoming Center, Management and General Chat => Chit Chat => Topic started by: Halex on June 16, 2012, 09:11:30 am
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Anyone got any tips on keeping them in the bed at night & going to sleep.
Also very rough with toys.
Poor ds is upset as he is rough with his x box & wii.
Dh outside with dfb, ds & I together.
I think ds might also be feeling thspat dfb is getting a lot of attention.
Early bath for me :)
H :)
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Hi Hally . . .it's a lot to take on, especially for short periods at a time as the child doesn't necessarily get the continuity and consistency that he needs.
Sleep: do they sleep in the same room? I'd suggest having them sleep in separate rooms if possible. I think that maybe your visitor is highly anxious and finds it hard to settle at night. How old is he? Maybe read to him a bit and talk to him while he's in bed and tell him that he really needs to relax and get to sleep. Would he respond more to you or to your DH in a situation like this? You might have to keep reinforcing this as you would a toddler . . .
Toys: Remove any toys that your DS particularly values. Pack the ex box away for the time being. You can just say that we put those particular items away from time to time. They'll come out at another time but not now. Constantly demonstrate/reinforce handling things gently whatever it is that has . . . . ."if you constantly treat that roughly it will become damaged, unsightly, broken, etc etc. If we handle it gently and carefully, it will last a lot longer and be a pleasure to use . . . etc."
DS upset: that's understandable!. Maybe bring up it up with DS and reassure him that you can understand that he may feel like that. Do you think that your son would understand if you explained that your visitor has a problem with a lot of things in his life and that he feels anxious and confused most of the time - and just while he is in your house he may need reassurance, and constant reminding of the "house rules", etc., and that he will surely benefit from understanding and patience from all the family. It's amazing how children will rise to the occasion when they have an understanding of what's going on.
Hally, I don't know if this helps in any way. I certainly admire what you're doing with these children. Good luck! An early bath sounds wonderful! :D
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Hally ADHD can be a real handful. You are indeed wonderful for doing this but do think of DS. (which I am sure you are doing). He coped with eb really well so that shows that he is a loving, caring child. Imagine how you would feel if some stranger came and 'bullied' your TMX.
The early bath is a great idea. :-*
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Thanks goldfish & cookie :)
Our bedroom is dfb out f bounds zone. So if ds wants timeout, ds can come & watch tv, play my ipad, read r whtever in our bedroom.
We told dfb the rules, he did not like it, says unfair etc. but does know.
Great dea about the toys, thanks
Ds has a friend who has adhd, this friend sends a lot of time here, his adhd is mild compared to dfb, his is really bad. The medication seems to wear off about 3pm.
They were in the same room last night, but ds mved in with us, & he can do so tonight.
Early days at, he responds to me better, I am much stricter than dh. He has already started calling dh DAD, bless him.
He is a lovely boy, just very hard work.
Ds knows dfb as an " illness" & he cant help what he does.
I mst admit fri-sun with this kid atm is our limit.
Told ds that anything dfb breaks mum will replace & we have learnt that next time we put away.
The problem I have is he has about 1 min attention span, then moves on, does come back to projetcs a min at a time.
H
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Did his foster mum give you any clues about how to influence his behaviour?
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No, but I will be asking her
H :)
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Your doing a great job H. :-*
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Oh h adhd children are a handful for their families so i can only imagine what a shock it is for you ad ds...i dont hink there is much that you can do but be consistent and firm but really tey need continued love support and understaning of their condition.. Its not easy as everyone just sees thm as naughty and destructive etc but they are so impulsive and need consistency hich i imagine is impossible in foster care... I wouldnt be putting ds or your family in a difficult situation though.. Its great to be caring but sometimes there isnt much you can do... Stay strong.
Is he on meds or not at all? A pecial diet?? Often they dont leep very much and need to be occupied
Anyway hope you sort it all out..
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He is a lovey boy full of hugs & i love yous which he gets back from us.
Ritalinf 20 per day, but i think he needs a top up at 2-3, but I am not hs Dr.
This morning we did have fun doing the door hangers & he was really focused.
His foid today
Weetbic, harvey frsh milk
1 cafe suzed cookie, 1 free range chicken breast sNdwich with hime ade bread
2 mni quiches
1 very small slice if cake, yes I knowbut he heled make it
Lots f water
He is in the shower now with dh supervising, singing away etc.
H :)
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Is it slow release Ritalin ?
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He seems to be eating well Hally. Sometimes Ritalin can reduce the appetite. I really admire you.
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No idea it just says 20mg.
Well tonight is fantastic, so far dfb in bed & so far has stayed there for 30 mins. Told dfb he needs to e up early for auskick, so early to bed, he seemed ok with this. Ds in our room.
H :)
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My son is on 54 mg concerta slow release medication, but he is almost 15.
I found the dexamphetamine really suppressed his appetite.
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Probably would be slow release if he is only taking 1 a day. How old is he?
Maybe he needs a slightly higher dose. But like you said your not a doctor. I'm sure they will increase his dosage as he needs it. That's what my doctor has always done. :)
Glad to hear he is settled tonight so far.
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Dede he is 7.
He is in bed, & we think he is asleep or nearly there, dont want to check onhim yet, just in case we disturb him.
He s a lot better tonight aft we talked to him. Bless his heart its nt his fault.
H :)
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Sounds like you havé it all under control... You should be proud as not many people Foster yet alone tolerate adhd kids... :) especially more sévère cases.. Although hé seems to be ok.. Musnt be easy for anyone though least of all for him as à kid who truly has adhd and not just hyper and throws on drugs as there is à différence .. Its à constant struggle for them to try and fit in and control their behavioural impulses..
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Oh Hally you are doing a wonderful job. ADHD is hard on all those involved. I have a wonderful book called Everyday with ADHD. The author has a website. The book gives you an insight into the world of a child with ADHD as well as coping strategies.
DS had a BAD day yesterday. Everything was fine until we got to swimming. He refused to get in the pool and spent half the lesson sulking. Finally got him in the water (after a little chat) and then was on fire. One of his best lessons.
Left swimming to get his new BIG boy doona and some groceries. Everyone we met, he screamed, refused to talk to and hid behind me. These were people he normally talks to.
The joys of parenting
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He slept right through until 7am. Struggle to get hm to take tablet. In the end I just said his mumwould be cross with me if he ddnt take it, so he took it.
DG dont know how you cope, all of you with kids with bad adhd your amazing.
Hes full on now, dh on shift. His mum will be here in about 20 mins, he calls her by her name, nit mum, but he has started to call dh, dad.
Will try & find the website.
H :)
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It does improve Halex as they get older. Although some days my DS is over the top. I would take my DS off them altogether if I thought he would cope at school, but I know he just can't concentrate and constantly gets in trouble at school while off them. I'm looking forward to the end of grade 10 and no more medication :)
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Luckily I don't have too many days like yesterday. Unfortunately something triggers this behavior. Just have to find out what.
DS has been getting into trouble at school. He is perfect in the classroom, but doesn't cope well in drama or library where there is no structure. He is fine with music and singing, because he loves music.
Last drama lesson he was given a pink slip as he mucks up every lesson. I will see how he goes this week.
He is off his medication because I don't think it is working. When on Ritalin his behavior was the same.
His stuttering is really bad atm too. Poor boy. I wish I knew what was really wrong. Have to wait 6 months to get into another paedatrician.
Hally enjoy your peace and quiet.
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Sounds like you are doing a great job...
My son is on 10mg twice a day and yes by 4pm he is a handful.
Just have to be strict..sounds like you are.
Also my son responds well to his peers telling him in a calm manner he has gone to far and needs to walk away..so encourage your son to as you might get a few more like this darling.
They are very smart and if you can find out what he is into you will be doing great!!
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My DS now 22yrs has been on dexamphetamine and then ritalin since he was 4yrs old.
No medication now. It does take a dip when when they hit puberty (hard to get a good balance on the meds).
He has always been very sociable. Had several jobs and apprentiships since leaving school.
He is back continuing his butchers apprentiship atm.
Hang in there. I'm still waiting to exhale.
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Yes I had a lot of problems with medication from puberty onwards. The medication my DS was on gave him migraines. So the doctor tried other medication and they all done the same. So no he is on the same medication he was on at the beginning of puberty but also has anti-migraine medication as well. This has worked really well thank god.
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He is a lovey boy full of hugs & i love yous which he gets back from us.
Ritalinf 20 per day, but i think he needs a top up at 2-3, but I am not hs Dr.
Yes my DS whom we adopted when he was little has Ritalin LA 20mg every day, it's a long acting medication and it does wear off at 2-3pm. It works very well for him, without it he was just getting into trouble constantly at school and now he is getting positive feedback :) He often says to me how much he loves school. Our doctor has given us the option of adding some short acting Ritalin at 3pm if we wish to but we don't do this currently, although we might in the future if his homework load increases. His ADHD is quite severe and I'm really not too sure if he is going to grow out of it. Fortunately he is a lovely sook and people are drawn to his exuberance. I just feel sad for him that he has these struggles but relieved that he is being helped with medication and has a wonderful school.
For the sleep, I would look into melatonin drops which has to be be obtained on prescription in Australia but other countries can just buy it at their pharmacy. It is very expensive since it has to be prepared by a compounding pharmacy but works a treat. It is a natural hormone that our bodies make for sleep.
The sleep issues and excitability in the early evening are often caused by the medication leaving the system - the steep plunge back to the ADHD self which leaves them unable to settle. Some people address this with the extra dose in the afternoon.
Otherwise very strong routine, same bedtime each night, calm down in a nice warm bath, stories - all these help.
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Wow, it was like a mini trnado for a few hours. After he left sunday we were all pretty stressed. Peaceful week I hope.
They will contact me soon about how it went, when can we have him again etc. they were wanting us to care for him once er month, but thats too much, maybe once every 2 months. It would be better to organise respite in dry weather, pack up a picnic & head out for the day, park or somewhere where he can let off steam without breaking or damaging anything.
I really apprecate everyones input as it was hard for hose few hours.
H :)
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Your doing a great job Hally :D
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You and your family did very well Hally. I can only imgaine how welcome the peace and quiet is now.
No wonder his foster mum needs some respite.
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Well done Hally, you all survived. It must have been very hard on the child too. New people, routines etc. Perhaps with time he will settle down.
If you decide to care for him again, have a chat to his foster mum and get some ideas from her. Try and stick to her routine as much as possible as this will make it easier for all.
How does CP feel about caring for this little boy?
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CP enjoyed it apart from the 3 hour tornado. He says he would like him back again, even though he rammed his arm into a door and smacked him hard on the but.
Yes I feel for the boy too, I cant imagine he goes to many play days etc.
His foster carer is a single mum, dont know how she does it.
H :)
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Yes ditto doing a great job hally :)
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His foster mum was probably crossing her fingers that all would go well. A bit of a shock to the system to go from a one well behaved-child family to a two-child with ADHD. Do you think you can survive many more of these or would you rather see more of Eb?
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EB is much easier but he has issues too, but much easier to handle. EB is with us for 1 week of school holidays then another 2 weekends in July. So we are pretty full with foster kids in July.
H :)