Forum Thermomix
Welcoming Center, Management and General Chat => Chit Chat => Topic started by: maddy on June 13, 2012, 10:40:07 am
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I get a phone call from an old friend today, and she had a request.
The conversation started with her saying did I want to make an "easy" $50?....then she said you probably won't want to ???
She wants me to make her 40th Birthday cake, with actual 4-0 digits, covered in pink icing and flowers...o.k., not too hard, but then she said she asked around the bakeries first, and they said it will cost her at least $110 for what she explained.....now this is where I raised an eyebrow.....she said there was no way she was going to paying that much for the cake.
the more I thought about it, I will have the cost of the tin hire, a cake board, the board foil, all the ingredients for the large tins, marzipan for the flowers etc....and I'm thinking well I'm sure the cost of all this will exceed her "easy" $50!
I am guessing she knows I will probably say that this will be her present, but I can't help but feel that it was quite cheeky :-\
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Mmm, me too maddy. Just depends on how good a friend she is whether you should do it or not. Why hire a tin, cake board etc, can you just cut out your own 40 from pieces of cake, put it on a plainish tray and hey, here's your birthday present luv. I know this is probably not to your usual standard but you can pretend you are me for the day and your standards have dropped ;D Or suggestion No. 2, get her to hire all the necessary equipment and you take over from there - now that's probably a better idea. Good luck with your decision making on this one.
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Very cheeky I must admit. I think she should of asked you first weather you would be happy to do her cake and then asked you how much do you think it would be.
Now your in a dilemma
Do you make the cake at a loss cause she's your friend ?
Or do you tell her that it will cost you more than $50 to make?
I think I would be flattered that she asked but peeved that she expects you to cover the extra cost :(
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Maddy I feel for you and do understand where you are coming from - between icing b'day cakes and making clothes for ppl I hear it all the time. DH is always chewing my ear with - 'you need to value your time far more' The less skilled(for the want of a better term) a person is in a particular area, the greater the chance that they have no idea of actual cost of either ingredients/materials or time!!!! Quite a frustrating situation! (http://www.cool-smileys.com/images/2077.gif) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/confused-smiley-big-eyebrows)
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Maddy, i would say NO.
She has shopped around,it will cost her at least $110
why should you cook,spend hours doing it for her, hiring equipment for nothing.
:'(
Robyn
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Very cheeky of her .
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I'd charge her $50 for your labour and she can pay for the cake tin hire, ingredients etc herself.
I don't think she has any idea really how much a quality cake costs or how long it would take to make.
I'd make sure to mention exactly how many hours of decorating it would take and if you do it, it's certainly not easy money but a gift to her.
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I would be cheeky about it - give her a list of everything you need her to buy for the cake, and ask her for the $50 up front... :-D
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Very cheeky, Maddy.
I agree with Katiej
You could say to her:
"I'm so flattered, but I think you'd be better off buying one, by the time you give me the $50 plus the cost of ingredients and tin hire etc. I just cant do it as cheaply as the professional bakeries."
That way you avoid the question of losing money which is absolutely outrageous from your perspective. It's hardly as if she would take you into a shop and point out a gift that she wanted you to buy her . . .
Mind you, having just turned 40 last month, it does do weird things to your mind.
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It is quite cheeky Maddy but honestly i dont think she knows how much quality cakes cost to make and decorate. I think some people estimate $2-5 for ingredients and the rest is "profit".
Maybe just say to her that you have looked into the cost of ingredients/marzipan/tin hire etc and it would all cost more than $50 so it wouldnt be worthwhile taking the money but seeing as though she is good friend you would be happy to make the cake as her present.
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Maddy, the scooby doo basic cake I made for ds birthday cost me more than $50. Cake board, ingredients, colourings etc.
A friend does cakes for friends she charges a $100 & that is cheap. She says it covers her costs & gives her a little play money, she said her wage per hour its about $1.
I am sorry but I would say no & mutter to myself, how rude what a cheapskate.
H
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Well I'm glad I'm not the only one to think it was cheeky.
I have known her for a very long time, but she is very forward and not backwards in getting what she wants :-\ that is one personality trait I'm not too fond of.
I did make one for her husband 2 years ago, but she hired the tins and bought the ingredients.
I think this will be her Birthday gift, but I just don't like the way I was asked :-\ or wonder if it was just assumed I would do it.
I will keep an eye on the cost so it doesn't blow out ;) at least that saves me the hassle of trying to find a present for someone who has everything.
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l have a friend like that . all ways trying to get some thing for nothing or putting people out so she can get cheaper herself even thouh it cost the other people either time, money and energy
l would ask myself is it worth the effort ? is she a good friend do you know her well . does she do this sort of stuff often to people . is she fussy ? does she have much money in life or does she struggle or does she not want to pay the $110 to pay for the cake as she thinks it too much . does she do much for other people . will she appercate it or does she just want a cheap cake .
l would tell her to hire the stuff and buy ingredients and you can do the rest for name a price . generally when l point out how much things cost l put the ball in my friends court she decides that it to much effort and cost and works something else out .
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we must of been typing at same time maddy
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Don't do it unless you are a really good friend! I did a castle cake for my niece with 3 tiers once. Of course it was my niece so I didn't mind but if I was costing it including the fondant, extra cake tins I needed to buy as well as the extras for decorating, it would have easily cost over $100 at a bakery. Sure, the flour, butter, eggs etc may be relatively cheap but when you add in all of the incidentals, there's a reason why she was quoted $110!!!
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What was your response when she asked you Maddy?
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Yes. It's a tricky situation. People don't understand how much cakes actually cost and how much time they actually take. I don't have an easy answer for you. Perhaps the best you can do is ask her to pay for the ingredients, tin hire etc which will easily add up to $50 and impress on her that your gift to her is the time and expertise that you will put into making her cake gorgeous. Either that, or just say no.
I am getting better at saying no, but it's always difficult. I got a phone call out of the blue last year from a friend that I've lost touch with. She asked me to make her mother's 70th birthday cake for a party that was only 1 1/2 weeks away and she wanted an iced and decorated fruit cake. I really didn't have time to do it, so I gave her a couple of options. I had an uniced fruit cake that I had made for an entry in the show which I hadn't got around to doing, or a miniature two tier fruitcake iced like a birdcage which was my trial entry for the show. She chose the uniced cake and persuaded another friend to ice it for her. She was happy today me $50 for the cake. I probably could have decorated it for her, but I felt put upon and really didn't have the time.
Good luck with your decision
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What was your response when she asked you Maddy?
....it was "ummm" :P
I am by no means a cake decorator, so I wouldn't dream of asking money for time.... But she has this way of getting you to do things, then you are scratching your head thinking what just happened! I do feel at times that it's a one way street, and I need to learn to just say no.
I think if the delivery of the request was different, I wouldn't feel as annoyed :-\
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I think if the delivery of the request was different, I wouldn't feel as annoyed :-\
It's almost as if she's doing you a favour by getting you to do it for her. That's the impression I get from it, I'm good at getting the wrong impression, though... lol.
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Maddy you will do a wonderful job if you decide to do it, it was very bold of her to ask. Have you found out how much it is to hire everything?
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The interesting thing here Maddy is that she did not come to you FIRST . You could have given her "mates rates" or not. Or it would have given you the opportunity to say it will be your gift but the fact that she found it was expensive and then came to you to you as a cheap alternative and obviously second or third choice is poor form. She is not a good or generous friend.
Ifi needed a cake and had a friend who made cakes they would be first choice for making my cake.
I would spell it out for her. Ask her to hire the pans, pay for the ingredients and gladly accept the cash for your time or say your time spent will be your gift to her and she need only to pay the costs. Some people have no idea of the value of things.
What saddens me is that your friend puts little value on your skills but wants to use your skills for a bloody show off cake for her 40th. A very shallow woman I think. Anyway she has no imagination if she wants a very ordinary cake like that.
Gert
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Maddy, I have relatives (particularly a family of four)like that who invite themselves to stay at our house for any length of time, despite the fact that they dont ask us if it is convenient ie fits into our work/school arrangements at that particular time- they request certain meals as they know I can whip up fantastic meals in the TM (which I am flattered by also) but dont offer to help in any way ie preparation, buying ingredients, even little things like washing up/clearing up the table. To feed eight of us for more than 2 or 3 days in a row is a major workload especially when I have to come home from work late and nothing has been done in the house. They don't ever offer to cook or even to get takeaway or take us all out for a meal- in other words they treat our house like a hotel- beds are left unmade and the spare room gets incredibly untidy- they have even left laundry etc for ME to do, which I have put my foot down at- they can do their own washing!! I am normally a very charitable person and love to entertain family and friends but this particular family really annoys me (read- total freeloaders) and I as soon as I read your initial post, I immediately thought your friend sounds like these relatives of ours. Admittedly, she wants to pay you but I think you should politely decline her offer and suggest that despite the $50 you dont want to undertake the stress and workload of turning out a beautiful cake for her 40th.
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The interesting thing here Maddy is that she did not come to you FIRST . You could have given her "mates rates" or not. Or it would have given you the opportunity to say it will be your gift but the fact that she found it was expensive and then came to you to you as a cheap alternative and obviously second or third choice is poor form.
You've nailed it there Gert..I think that's what is irking me.
This party was a last minute thought, as they planned to go go abroad for her Birthday...money is not an issue, and she is known for her penny pinching ways.
It is exactly as you describe, a cheaper alternative where she doesn't have the hassle.
arghh....
Merlin.... :o really, who does that! You need to decline like I do ;)
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Merlin would you care if u did not see this family agian ? :-))
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I would be making your home and hospitality a little less less available Merlin.
Don't cook every night and ask where they would like to go for dinner, even if they don't pay for your meal they will at least have to pay for their own.
When I stay at friends and relatives I always at least cook a meal or take them out.
A thankyou gift at the end of the stay is nice as well.
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Say NO, Maddy. Make up or engineer an excuse that sounds convincing.
I used to do cakes for people, sometimes for friends at discounted prices and while I did as good a job on the discounted ones as the ones I did for major dollars, the only people who really complained and were picky, were the people who were getting them on the cheap.
I finally learned my lesson and when anyone asked, I handed them my price list and told them that my costs were just as high and the time I spent on their cake was time I was not spending on another cake and was in essence costing me money if I charged less.
Strangely enough, when they paid full price, there were seldom any complaints about the cakes themselves.
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Uh oh, now I feel bad. My best friend has made my kid's birthday cakes for years, & they're always fantastic. She loans them her cake books & lets them choose whatever they want - fairy castles, mermaids, dinosaurs, anything. And I have never paid her other than a bottle or two of bubbly. I know she usually has the equipment on hand & she's doing it for love (plus she loves a challenge), but I feel really bad now. She's doing a cake for DD's birthday on Saturday, I know she won't accept money, might look into getting her a pamper package.
Totally different from your situation tho maddy. If you feel up to it, I'd do it & call it her b'day present. Do you know anyone you could borrow tins/boards from?
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i think your safe dd, she sound like a true friend, i would do it for a few bottles of bubbly
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When we first offer to do anything for anyone, we have to make sure it is not going to be an ongoing thing - people do tend to take things for granted and in the end resentment builds that our thoughtfulness has turned into continuing expectation on the part of the recipient. There are givers and there are takers - if it's a 2 way street it isn't so bad but there are so many takers in this world.
Merlin - I don't know how you put up with those visitors. I'd definitely be leaving their beds unmade, just shut the door so you don't have to see them. I could not put up with the way they treat your house and your hospitality. I am blessed in that I don't know any people like that.
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Merlin just learn to say No.
Maddy, I would decline to do the cake, as you are too busy / going away/ some excuse....
We have a person want to borrow tools from us, I always said No, because we never got them back ever. Glad they have moved away now..
Robyn
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Merlin would you care if u did not see this family agian ? :-))
Don't get me started on house guests.
Gert
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how is the B**ch ;D
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I guess what this boils down to is that people will treat you as they do and take you for granted if you allow them to. If you are happy to provide free accommodation with all the frills, and bake a gorgeous ooh aah cake for friends or relatives then do it. If it rubs you up the wrong way, get out of it earlier rather than later.
So you "can be sure she gets what she wants" Maddy why not ask your friend along to shop while you get all the ingredients, hire the cake tin etc and then stand furtherest away from the till when its time to pay (ie. she has to offer and then you quietly accept ;)). I'm sure you will feel better about it when you get home to make the cake that she has contributed something towards it.
Merlin, you need to be less hospitable with the freeloaders. Ask yourself why you do it and why you allow others to step down. They know you will step up to the mark, and you are probably telling them "oh no it doesn't matter, I will ...."
Deedub if you feel bad, go through with your plan to get your friend a pamper package. Even though she does it for love, it is a labour of love and it is better to overly generous with gifts. A bonus every now and then will be a surprise and warm the heart.
You reap what you sow. If the outcome is going to annoy you, change it to suit you.
(Note: this is written from a mother who goes on strike from time to time)
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how is the B**ch ;D
Dirty B----, wasn't it? ;D ;D ;D
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CP very well said.
keep striking now and then.... ;D
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how is the B**ch ;D
Dirty B----, wasn't it? ;D ;D ;D
Oh yeah haven't heard from them since their annual Christmas epistle telling us of their constant travels , new cars, jobs, houses etc....
I let DH deal with that one. His friends after all.
Gert
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Nazar, how do you get your dog to move in your signature.
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She gives him a treat.
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how is the B***h ;D
Dirty B----, wasn't it? ;D ;D ;D
it was mich ;D
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obbie its my husband signture
as he was the one to sign up here but l have taken it over
l will ask him when he gets home . he is the computer person not me
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deedub, it is different if you are making some as a gift for a close friend - I've done that often but always voluntarily, I was never asked to do one because a commercial one was too expensive.
For close friends and relative, I offer to do whatever they need and tell them to consider it a gift.
What I am talking about in my previous post was when casual acquaintances would shop around and ask me after they learned how expensive the item they wanted would be.
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Thanks for all the advice everyone! At least the one consolation factor is that this particularly annoying family is on my DH side and not mine therefore I feel I can tell them where to go in future. I have been polite up until now because it is my husband's family but it is also our house so I put my foot down a number of times eg last time they came I blew a fuse (metaphorically speaking ie had a meltdown) and told them that they should stop lounging around all day and make their own dinner/ meals etc or at least help in some way. After that- I grabbed a bottle of wine and my kids ( not necessarily in that order) slammed a few doors and left them to their own devices to get their own dinner ( I had arrived home from a particularly long day at work to find them all standing around asking "what's for dinner?") The amazing thing is they still don't get how rude they are- they rang a few weeks ago wanting to 'visit' ie to stay at our house again later this year at a time when we are actually away and have a house sitter staying. We said no, but they still rang back asking to stay whilst our house sitter is here (who doesn't know them at all)!
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Merlin Darling, I'm sending you hugs.... :-*
and, 1 piece of advice.
Change phone numbers and get a silent number so they can't ring you.
These are not friends, but users.
Robyn
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Oh yeah big big hugs. You may have to say no a few times before these idiots get the message.
Gert
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Do you live in a holiday village or something Merlin? When will they understand no means no, I do hope they don't just turn up and surprise your house sitter. What does your DH think of these relatives?
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;) ;) ;)LOL- JD, apparently they think I run a hotel, but no, I am just one of many of you domestic goddesses out there who happens to have a highly stressful job, high maintenance 5yo twins and certain crap relatives! Not that they seem to realise all of the above. At least, last time as I was escaping out of the house I chucked them a packet of taco shells and some mince and said to do something with that as the chef was leaving the building! My DH has finally realised that they act like this, mind you, she, ie the cousin of my DH , acts like a perfect angel around my husband and Jekyll and Hyde towards me when I'm alone with them. I kept telling him that these particular cousins are users and I think the penny has finally dropped!
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Maddy.
Don't do the cake! You will end up being asked again and again. I found that as a dressmaker, I was being "used". My sister had the same problem with her sugar-crafted cakes. We both worked out the cost of our work and produced a little brochure. At the slightest hint of our making something, we said. "I'll send you my brochure". The only people I make presents for are my children and sisters. Presents can be repetitive and are expected annually so give them at your peril.
I would say right away that you are too busy with other commitments at the moment but that you will send her your brochure for any future orders.
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Merlin, if that's what she is like then I'd definitely not have her in my house. I dislike people who put on a act for one person and don't show their true colours until that person is not there. It would be very hard to convince DH how you are being treated behind his back.
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Nazar, how do you get your dog to move in your signature.
obbie
my husband said its a 'animated gif', similar to this sight http://www.animatedgif.net/animals/dogs/dogs.shtml
categories http://www.animatedgif.net/
hope this explains it
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UPDATE....
For someone who didn't care so much about the cake because it was " just a cake" ......sure has strong ideas on what they do and don't want :-))
I was handed a paint swatch with the particular shade of icing colour ( bubble gum pink :-\), wants only flowers in same colour pink, and poo-poo'd my suggestion of a little edible glitter or small green leaves in between the flowers.....oh, and the candles she gave me were butt ugly, in all shades of pink.
Now my dilemma is....do I do as requested, or add what I think may look better, as this is going to be my gift?
I didn't mention this was going to be my gift, but I'm sure she will assume that's what I will do.
I got the tins yesterday, they were filthy! Baking them today, and icing them tomorrow....wish me luck :P
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Maddy, I think you just proved that your 'friend' is far too demanding for someone who just wanted a cake and next time, (if there is one) I reckon you should recommend she goes to a baker. Also, I would also make mine look more homemade (you could say rustic!) and do my own interpretation of what she wants anyway! Clearly you have such a lot of work ahead of you so all the best of luck!!!
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Maddy this is a slam dunk.do as requested Put the invoice on baking paper and bake inside the cake. Oops I wondered where I put the bill.
Gert
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Great idea Gert, Invoice her.
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I like Dot's idea of a brochure, then there can be no dispute or discussion, everything is set out, extras are costed out, etc. this then makes the whole endeavour a business transaction and you all know where you stand.
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Maddy put the card something like an invoice.
eg Happy birthday.........................My gift to you on this special occasion is this cake.
Total cost $75
Less 10% for a friend = $67.50
Details:
Hire of tin $12
Flour $4.50
Butter $5.00
etc
etc
Labour : As this is my gift I have given it freely. Usually I charge $45 per hour. Total time is usually 1.5 hours (usually $68.50
I hope you have a lovely day and everyone enjoys the cake which I have baked and iced with much love.
Next time say I'm a bit short for housekeeping this month as I bought a new.......... I'll have to charge much the same as I gifted last year.
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If she pays she can demand, if it is for free you do what you like maddy. She obviously expects it for free so she can't have it both ways. Hope all goes well and she is happy with the end product.
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Cookie 1 you are brilliant.
Gert
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I wonder how your so called friend would react if you called her in the morning of the party and told her you dropped the cake while taking it out of the oven :-))
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What about if you sort of came down sick....
Love that one Uni... :D
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Cookie 1 you are brilliant.
Gert
Thank you. You have made my day. :D
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Thanks Nazar.... lots of good ones out there.
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Maddy,
I like Cookie's idea - people often value things more when they know how much they cost and how much time they take. She probably has no idea how long it will actually take you to make the cake.
As it is your gift to her, I would ignore her demands, and make a cake that you are happy with. I would definitely break up some of the pink with green leaves, and add glitter if you wish. She has asked you to do it because she admires what you have made in the past, and your particular style. You are entitled to artistic freedom.
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If you are planning to gift the cake, tell her now since I am sure this will not be the last of her demands. It also allows you artistic freedom!
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Maddy - looking forward to seeing pics of the finished cake! :)
as for users...don't get me started... :-X - enough to say I sympathisise fully with Merlin... >:(