Do your children have to help around the house?

[astarra]

OK so I know this is a very random question, but mine are expected to help around the house - and they enjoy doing it (long may it last) BUT... we had my big bro and his wife to stay and she told me I was a "very harsh woman" for getting my kids to do things for themselves around the house. 
I know mine are young but from the time they go into a bed (from a cot) they make their own bed every morning (yes, the perfectionist in me goes and fixes miss 3s job afterward when she is not around) but miss 5s is perfectly done now. And I don't even remind them about it, they just do it. They also take their dishes out to the sink after every meal (even miss 17mths). The eldest 2 take turns at setting the table for dinner. They are just little things but they can do it. Does this make me a harsh woman 

[CreamPuff63]

only if you need to use a whip 

[stacelee]

Mine are supposed to help and they aren't too bad about it, but do need reminding.  They are both fantastic kids who will do almost anything they are asked to do...but its the having to ask that drives me balmy.  My husband is the same....he will willingly do housework if asked but it would never occur to him to do it if I don't ask.  I do go into martyr mode frequently because it is usually easier to just get it done myself than to have to ask half a dozen times for it to be done. 

I do expect them to keep their rooms clean and dusted and bring their washing to me to be done and put their washing away.....my daughter is very good (except she will wait until she has three baskets of washing to put away before she bothers !!!!)....my son was shocking but has improved with age, we reached a compromise, his room can be a disaster during the week but MUST be clean for the weekend.  We have both learned to live with that, I don't like it, but I can live with it.  He was putting in 10+ hour days at school last term so I had a little sympathy.

[gertbysea]

Soap box JUDY

Tell you sister in law to mind her own business. Her kids will be spoiled brats and she will running around after the when she is old and tired.

All kids should take their dishes to the sink and make their own beds. Why ever not?  The whole  family should be working together to get chores done. Putting their clothes in the laundry basket or wherever and as they grow putting them away as well. It is all the small stuff that makes life easier for everybody. Setting the table , picking up stuff should just be normal routines.  It should not be do as you are told but this is what  we do in this house.

Who on earth thinks their kids are so precious that they cannot do normal chores?

Just one thing  astarra, in the scheme of things,  just how important is it  that the bed has to be perfectly made?  It may take only a few seconds to improve on  Miss 3 's skills but don't think she doesn't notice.  Soon she will be saying to herself  why bother as my mummy will do it for me? LOL.  Watch out you may be making a rod for your own back.

Gert

[knittercook]

I did EVERYTHING when mine were young and believe me I didn't do them or myself any favours! So I would tell yous SIL to mind her own bees wax and you continue to teach your family that everyone has to pitch in and help for the household to function smoothly.  Oh and I agree with Gert, I wouldn't remake the bed either 

[obbie]

My kids take the dishes to the sink, feed the chickens, collect the eggs, collect the bags of pine cones, (for the fire), clean there rooms, do the folding clothes, and put them away.

Put the dirty clothes in the laundry, try to help peel veges.  Pick up the lego..

My daughter loves to help me cook.

they are 6 & 7.
They have to do chores as the cleaning fairy only comes every fortnight.

[stacelee]

My daughter has to do the chickens (but they are her pets), my son has to do the birds in the outdoor aviaries.  I somehow got stuck with the job of feeding the three dogs and the cat gets fed by whoever is walking past at the time she wants food (she is VERY loud and persistant).  I also feed "The Grouch" budgie who lives in my kitchen....I'm the only one that she doesn't bite so I'm elected (I'm so glad we rescued her as a chick from dying on the floor of the aviary!!!).  I also get stuck washing the dogs and grooming them but they get too stressed when my husband does it, so again I'm elected.

[astarra]

Thanx ladies - she made me feel as tho I was the only one in the world who's children had to do things!! Glad to know I'm not!!
I had never thought about the fact miss 3 might notice her bed is re-made, thanx for opening my eyes on this.
They also have to put their own dirty clothes either in the washing baskets in their rooms or into the basket in the laundry, miss 5 is a bit of a perfectionist herself so keeps her room spotless... it is quite nice really!
They love to cook too, tho they think of that as a treat!!
Folding clothes... I don't even let my mum fold my washing, cuz she doesn't get the edges perfectly aligned....

[judydawn]

You are doing the right thing astarra - they will grow up being so used to doing jobs you will never have to get on their backs like most Mums do with teenage kids and their bedrooms for example.  For boys in particular, I believe it is a Mum's job to train them to be a good husband in the future. With our generation, men and housework were never mentioned in the same breath but things are different now with females working fulltime and I believe everyone has to bog in and pull his/her weight.  

[AliRo]

The things that you mentioned are just things I would consider as being a part of a family!  It's just picking up after yourself.  To me, I would consider things like mowing the lawn, washing dishes, vacuuming etc as actual chores.  Making your bed or taking your dishes to the sink are just things that every single person in the house has to do as part of being alive!

[jakodai]

DS (3 in October) helps out. Each night he picks up the toys that he's gotten out. When I get him changed he puts his dirty clothes in the washing basket, he helps me take the rubbish out and he puts his nappy in the bin. I've seen how the kids who don't have to help out turn out, and my son is much better off for helping. I don't want him to grow up thinking that everything will be done for him, that's not how the world works.

[gertbysea]

o
Folding clothes... I don't even let my mum fold my washing, cuz she doesn't get the edges perfectly aligned....

Have you considered seeking help  astarra? 

[judydawn]

 

[Wonder]

Go with what feels right for you, there's nothing wrong with the kids having to do the type of work you are asking as others have said it's all part of helping to make the house run smoothly. My kids are hopeless at doing jobs, but i refuse to make their beds, clean their rooms or bring the washing up or down. There bedrooms are out of sight upstairs and if they are happy to hop into an unmade bed I'm not fussed either. Growing up my room was a mess and it never killed me so i do find it hard to push them to keep them cleaner. Saying all that DD is grounded this weekend because she has been neglecting her jobs for quite a few weeks, cleaning her room is right at the top of the list - I'm suspecting that alone will take all weekend. They do have daily jobs such as doing the dishes, setting the table, putting  their own plates etc into the dishwasher and unpacking the dishwasher each day and taking the bins out. We have to remind them everyday but they do it when reminded. As long as the main part of the house is clean and tidy I'm not going to stress about the rest.

[astarra]

Have you considered seeking help  astarra? 

LOL Gert! 

I know it seems crazy, washing is the main part where I can't let go of perfectionism! When I hang my washing it is all the tops on one line, long sleeve DH, long sleve mine, long sleeve dd1,2 then 3, then short sleeves the same way singlets etc, trousers and skirts on one line - in order, underwear one line in order - you get the idea... but the part most people find hilarious is that I even color - code my pegs - all tops on with blue pegs, bottoms with pink, hankies with purple etc.  And the folding has to be perfect, as do the drawers and cupboards - no just shoving it in here!!!!